5 Ways To Crush Pessimism Before It Crushes You

As the founder of The Optimism Code, it would be easy to pretend I never have pessimistic thoughts, but that would be completely inauthentic and quite untrue. We all can become pessimistic at times. Negative thinking has a purpose, believe it or not.

As humans, we are hard wired for self-protection. This is why it's so easy to fall into the trap of pessimism, whether about our performance at work, our relationships, our health, or our finances.  Negative thinking is the brain's way of trying to help us, not hurt us. The trouble seeps in when we dwell on negative thoughts and begin to wallow in them.

If you are among the many people who tend to overthink things, and give more weight to the negatives than the positives in life, here are some proven ways to boost your optimism.

Recognize your ‘Stinkin’ Thinkin’

When we have background noise in our brain and try to push it down without addressing it, it can quickly snowball into an avalanche of negativity. By acknowledging we are having some ‘less than positive’ thoughts about our situation, it puts us in position to tackle challenges head on.

Gain Perspective and Cut Yourself Some Slack

A great deal of pessimistic thinking arises when our expectations are out of

alignment with reality.  We think we have somehow failed because we didn’t achieve our goal. Our boss made one critical comment along with 5 positive ones but we ruminate on the imperfection, giving it way more weight than necessary. If you are like me, and have high standards for yourself, falling short can sometimes lead to self-doubt and fear, or worse -- self-blame. 

Recognize that you aren’t a perfect person and let yourself off the hook.  Life is messy and nobody gets it right 100% of the time.  By allowing yourself permission to fall short of unrealistic expectations, you will reduce your frustration levels and spend less time worrying about people and situations you can’t change.

Become Present and Look for Possibilities

Let’s say you are actively job hunting and have sent out hundreds of resumes over the past month but have gotten little to no response. You could easily blame yourself, and maybe there are a few things you could do differently.  However, dwelling on your lack of progress with a mindset that you will NEVER get a job, is not going to change things and it can become counterproductive, possibly sending you into a spiral of despair. 

The past is over. What is happening now is that you feel frustrated and disappointed about what occurred before this moment. These are completely understandable emotions.  Having a pity party for a little while is okay and to be expected.  But don’t marinate in your tears for too long.  Instead, ask yourself what you can do differently in this moment, and going forward. 

Maybe you need a career coach or possibly you need to tweak your resume.  Perhaps you could do things to expand your network. It could be time to look into training. Think of something small you can do differently today. Your worries are a signal worth listening to. They are designed to help you take action.

You may even want to try writing down 3 new and positive things you can do in the coming week to change your trajectory.  If you find yourself clinging to the belief you can’t do anything differently, what attitude shifts can you make?

4.     Stop Self-Blame Immediately

Did you know that the number one thing that can lead to a case of the blues is self-blame.  I used to have a habit of saying “It must be something I am doing wrong,” rooted in childhood. This is how most of us develop our limiting beliefs. When I make a mistake now, I don’t beat myself up over it because I recognize that is counterproductive and you shouldn’t either.  If you don’t meet your goals, it doesn’t mean you need to throw yourself into the proverbial doghouse.  As a matter of fact, doing so is not helpful in any way.

Instead, use soothing phrases as if you were your own best friend. Tell yourself, “Everything is going to be alright.” and remind yourself of the positive slogan, “You never fail until you stop trying.” If it helps, ask yourself not what you could have done differently in the past, but what you can do from this moment forward to improve your situation. 

Cut yourself some slack and let it go. What is done is done.  Allow yourself to feel your feelings, but move on.

5.     Reframe Your Thoughts

If you find yourself thinking “I am never going to land a job”, recognize it for what it is and challenge yourself.  At The Optimism Code, we work with clients to teach them how to reframe negative thoughts by using a blend of slogans, cliches, and re-framers that boost positivity instantly.

At The Optimism Code, we help you develop simple, easy to use Optimism Keys to design your own unique keychain for living your best life without burning out.  If you enjoyed this post, please sign up for more free content at https://theoptimismcode.com

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Wendy J. Schwartz, CPCC is a Certified Wellness and Career Coach. As the creator of The Optimism Code, she is an avid writer and provides coaching services to help clients design their best life. For more information about her book and coaching services, visit https://theoptimismcode.com

DISCLAIMER: The Optimism Code is intended to aid people like you in achieving greater levels of life satisfaction through a variety of unique strategies intended to boost optimism. The information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for working with a licensed healthcare professional or medical provider.